The first day with Barack Obama as the official President of the United States of America and I can already feel the love the Democrats promised would happen the moment we call him President Obama. After all, for the last eight years, the only reason anyone hated us was because of Bush, right? Once we root that tyrant out of the office, everything will return to normal!

Let's see... Uhm, let's look at how Iran is reacting!

Ouch! Is that a photo of Obama? Why, yes it is. And they're burning it, in case you didn't notice the flames. Right next to photos of Bush. Yes, indeed! Iran loves America now that Obama is our President! Oh, they've also switched their chants from "death to Bush" to "death to Obama." Iran sure does have a strange way of showing its love for America:

"Obama's is the hand of Satan in a new sleeve", explained Hossein Shariatmadari. "The Great Satan now has a black face". His words have weight because he speaks for Ayatollah Khamenei, the man who makes the big decisions in Iran; on foreign policy and all matters nuclear.

Then we have everyone's favorite terrorist dictator: Hugo Chavez. What did he think of President Bush? In September 2006, he was next in line to speak at the United Nations after Bush left the podium and he remarked that he could still smell the sulfur. Whether he considered Bush to actually be Satan or to just confer with Satan, we'll probably never know. What does he think of Obama? Apparently the exact same thing. He said Obama's stench is like that of Bush's. (For those of you liberals who still cling to the false notion that FOX is biased against Democrats, there's a link to your favorite Washington Post that says the same thing... The catch is that I'm going to make you go through FOX's site to get it! For you blind bats our there, the link is at the bottom of the article.)

Ouch! Yeah, I'm really seeing the love there, too. Weren't all these people supposed to become our friends after Bush left? After all, they were supposed to hate Bush, not America and its principles. Just Bush. Hmm. Something's up... How could this have happened? Did the Democrats lie to us? Nooo... Why would they ever do something like that? The Democrats? LIE TO GET THEIR WAY? Unthinkable!

But hey, at least the inauguration went smooth, aye? Oops... It didn't. The Immaculate Messiah has managed to add himself to the extremely tiny list of Presidents who have actually messed up the Oath of Office. Good show! You'd think that two people (the Messiah supposedly being one of the greatest intellects and orators alive) could memorize 35 words. 35 words. Something so vitally important as the line you repeat to actually become the President of the United States and he managed to chop it up. Here, for a future President's sake, I will post the line so you can memorize it in the 2 months you have after actually being elected before actually having to say it:

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

There. Print this out, put it on your cell phone (or iPod, if you're so in tune with the youth as Obama is), or on a note card, or, heck, tell your wife to ask you to repeat it at random times during the day. Could you imagine what would have happened if Bush had done this? Of course, the Democrats say, Obama is only human! It's an honest mistake! HAHAHA! For the entire campaign, you've been turning the man into a god and now you say "he's only human." Perfect. Absolutely perfect. There's a reason we conservatives call him "The Messiah", and it's not because we think he's the Messiah.

But let me welcome the Lord Messiah Barack Obama to the office of the President of the United States of America! May you come to handle the adversity and unpopular image we hold abroad and even with ourselves with the same cool dignity that the last President handled it all with. (In other words, I HOPE YOU EXPERIENCE EXACTLY WHAT REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH FOR THE LAST EIGHT YEARS! Ahem.)

Quick note: I hope everyone comes to realize that the reason our enemies hate us is not because of who we have in office, but because of what we stand for: THE CONSTITUTION. Why did they hate Bush? Because he swore the Oath of Office to protect and defend the Constitution. Why do they hate Obama? Because he (barely) swore the Oath of Office to protect and defend the Constitution. It's not rocket science! But it does seem to me that the simplest explanation and solution is always the last thing the Democrats think of. I think that's the very definition of "lack of common sense", if you ask me.

America's enemies hate America because... THEY HATE AMERICA!

UPDATE 1: By the way, I totally forgot to mention that the link to the schmooze piece about Obama's iPod is from Chicago Sun-Times. Oh yeah, my Early Edition obsession has finally influenced my political commentary! How totally awesome is that?