Has anyone been watching the stock market since Obama's election? I have...

We conservatives have been noticing a trend in the falling stock market being directly related to the chances of an Obama victory. As the ridiculous polls started to narrow and declare statistical ties and such things, the market would stabilize and cautiously climb. As the Stock Market ran into Election Day (and closed long before the counting began), it had hit an all-time high since the Democrats passed the bail out bill... Why? We pretty much understand that it's because the polls were narrow and tied and nobody knew what was going to happen, so people bought hoping for a McCain (Free Market Advocate) win instead of an Obama (Wealth Redistribution Advocate) win. Take a look at this 30-day look at the stock market:

Look! I'm not lying when I say Election Day was the highest since the bail out passed. There were articles plastered all over the place that insisted that the markets were falling because the House killed the bill the first time... Have you heard anything about the markets falling because they passed the second bill? Hah! Are you kidding? The mainstream media make Democrats look bad? Hah! It'll be interesting to see, in coming months, what the stock market looks like when Obama actually starts passing his redistribution bills. I mean, he hasn't even DONE any of his dumb ideas yet, but can someone explain to me how electing Lord Barry, savior of the United States, is not halting the failing economy? I thought his very presence was going to instill hope in our country and around the world? I understand the market is the definition of volatile right now and this could just be some random drop... But I predict that the market will continue to steadily fall, the Democrat-controlled Congress will pass a plethora of bills in an effort to inflate the economy and it will all go wrong and they won't have anyone to blame but themselves and their new liberal President.

Hope and change, indeed!

So here's a break down of the aforementioned controversial Simpsons episode that the liberals are claiming is homophobic... But first, since the show actually starts with the election skit first, I'm going to open with that, just to prove to you that I thought it was awesome and can totally take a joke at my own expense. (Since I am, after all, one of the Republicans who "stole" the election in 2000 and 2004.)

Downtown Springfield... Obama signs cover the buildings on the left side of the street, the McCain signs cover the buildings on the right side. And there in the back is Grandpa Simpson picketing for Ike. We then cut to the Springfield Elementary School gymnasium, where a sign hangs above the door that declares: "OFFICIAL POLLING PLACE." Homer Simpson enters while one of the elementary aged bullies exits. Homer marches up to the registration table and greets the old men running the polls with a cheery: "Hello! I'd like to vote for President, Governor and anything that will take money away from our parks and libraries." One of the elderly folk answers with: "Eh! Use machine number three!" Homer approaches the booth, but is just a bit too fat to get inside, so he whines: "I can't fit in the booth!" The same man shouts at him to "use the double-wide!"

Homer then makes his way to huge polling booth with a handicapped icon above it. He closes the curtains and turns to the machine which presents a screen with two buttons, one for Barack Obama and one for John McCain. "Ooooh! One of those electronic voting dealies!" He happily presses the button for Obama, but the machine lights up for McCain and announces: "One vote for McCain. Thank you!" Homer laughs his trademark innocent laugh and says: "Nooo... I want to vote for Obama!" He pushes the button again and the machine says: "Two votes for McCain." Homer starts to panic. "Come on! It's time for a change!" He angrily presses the button again and smiles as he waits for the intended outcome, but is greeted with: "Three votes for McCain!" Homer hits the Obama button three times in rapid succession. "No, no, no!" The machine happily announces: "Six votes for President McCain!" Homer starts shaking the machine and shouts, "HEY! I only meant one of those votes for McCain!" He gasps and takes a step back. "THIS MACHINE IS RIGGED!"

The machine promptly opens up a secret compartment and tries to vacuum Homer inside... Into some conveniently placed saw blades. Homer futilely grabs the curtains as he's sucked inside. "Must... Tell... President McCain! This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not America!" And those are his final words for, alas, the machine slams the doors closed on him and then promptly devours him, only to spit him back out in a crumpled heap. The elderly man from before hobbles up to Homer's broken body and sticks an "I Voted" sticker to his forehead.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the election gag! I don't know about anyone else, but I laughed the whole time... I mean, that's pretty funny, if you think about it. So many things that stand out to me: Obama signs on the left (left-wing), McCain signs on the right (right-wing). The underaged (illegal) voter leaving the polling area... A bunch of old people running the polls. A quick nod to the helpless generation we're breeding when Homer cries he's too fat to fit inside... And then pretty much the whole voting machine thing, because that's not at all how votes would be stolen if it happened. (In the sense that they wouldn't actually announce that they stole your vote, not that the election machine wouldn't devour you, because that's impossible! Or is it... Dun dun dun!) Then that bit about Ohio? Classic!

And then there's the fabled homophobic part, which I won't go into as great of detail, but suffice it to say that the skit in question was a parody of a Peanuts cartoon that follows Milhouse (playing Linus) to the pumpkin patch as he waits for the "Grand Pumpkin" to arrive and give out candy. A bunch of the other kids show up to see what he's doing and he eagerly asks if anyone wants to sing pumpkin carols... Then Nelson, the resident "homophobe", I guess, steps up and says "I've got a pumpkin carol for you!" He clears his throat and launches into a song to the tune of We Wish You A Merry Christmas:

You are such a stupid moron
It makes people want to punch you
The Grand Pumpkin's super gaaa-aaay
Punch-punch-punch-punch Wedgie!

And that is what the liberals are crying about... That's it. I mean, if you even bother to watch the entire episode, which is a collection of many skits, as all Treehouse of Horror episodes are, you see a lot of insinuations that people are gay... Including a few key historical figures I think they could have done without. One of those times where I think they went a little over the top. But my point is that they made fun of everyone equally. Stop whining so much... Sensitive liberals.

In commemoration of the beginning of the end of the United States of America, I have decided to post a clip of me singing the Obama National Anthem! Those of you who know me, this is something you've tried to get me to do over Skype, but I have adamantly refused every invitation... Of course, with an occassion as special as this, as well as a strong sense of boredom, a natural high from sleep deprivation, and a sense of anonymity and privacy as nobody was here to actually hear me sing while I was doing it, I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

Hear GermanShepherd Sing: Obama National Anthem

Go get Adobe Flash Player!

I make no guarantees as to the state of your ears during or after your listening. I've been signing this all night, and then decided to record it and I said this was my fifth take, but by "take" I mean "fifth take of a copy that I think I could post". Meaning: I had sung this maybe 10 or 12 times by now in a voice loud enough for the microphone to hear. Coupled with the fact that I've been signing it all night, my voice started to get somewhat hoarse, so... I need a drink of water. (Dangit, I didn't drink "on the air"!)

So I'm seeing people who once told me NaNoWriMo was stupid now joining up! Interesting! And then claim tolerance and free expression of opinion on their blog, but then remove my comments in the same breath. Ah, true double-standard liberalism at work. (Am I like a magnet to liberals? I think I only have one friend (well, multiple friends, same family) who's as conservative as I am.) Plus, they then claim we were never friends... Okay, if you want to go that route, that's fine with me. I guess those Skype sessions and movies weren't at all a friendly thing. Nah! All that chatting (voice and text) we did and all the movies we watched (although I think it was only one: Silence of the Lambs) and such was done in such a disguised ANGER that we didn't even realize we were never friends! Then accuse me of being the one to leave hate-seeking comments after leaving their own parcel of hate-seeking comments on this here blog. I see no remorse for that... Oh! It's okay for them to do it, but not for us! Okay! Got it!

Oh yeah, I went there... Inter-weblog flame war, for the win! Because I'm feeling especially persnickety tonight. I guess this is what happens when a) you stay up late to watch the fate of the country flush down a toilet, b) not get to sleep because of aforementioned flushing, c) get up early to listen to radio, d) be bored and tired and wired enough that you can't sleep despite the lateness. Fun times... Fun times. Actually, I don't expect an inter-weblog flame war, because I really won't go that far, but I think at one post is merited because, after all, it is a blog dedicated to exposing hypocrisy, eh? Am I right?

So I just heard of this... He was actually mentioned on NewsBusters. This guy is probably my favorite science fiction writer. I say "probably" because I really haven't read very many, but of all the one's I've attempted to read, only Michael Crichton's I've been able to finish because they were gripping until the very end. Andromeda Strain... Jurassic Park... Timeline... Prey... All were perfectly amazing.

So what do I do after hearing about his passing away? Well, I read his Wikipedia article, of course. The article is pretty... Boring, actually. Only a small bit about his life, and then it's more or less a list of books, movies and shows he's been involved with. (Though I did not know he was the mastermind behind ER... If people told me that earlier, I would have probably been more receptive to trying to watch it!) But then, at the bottom, under Speeches, I hit the motherlode: I'm pretty sure he was a conservative. At least he shows all the classic signs!

He made speeches against the speculative science such as the idea of alien life and global warming... He basically says they can't be proven scientifically and are thus more similar to religions than science. Awesome! He even rips the environmentalists for the same idea... And then he tears into the mainstream media way back in 1994 and calls them out for opinionating instead of reporting and NewsBusters even says he went so far as to predict the fall of the mainstream media and the rise of "The Net" as the primary source of news in the next 10 years. You know what? He was right.

Who was once merely an awesome writer to me is now suddenly far more amazing. What would make it perfect if he was a Christian... I mean, he was at least a conservative, right? He's half the way there! But having been divorced 4 times doesn't paint a good picture to that regard. That, and the fact that most of his stuff deals with evolution and extraterrestrials and such. Then again, I write about life outside of Earth, because I understand it's fiction... I don't know. I tried visiting his site to see, but... Eh, it doesn't say, either. (And seems to be faltering under traffic-related stress.) Oh well... He still sounds like a great guy.