Okay, so last night, I was completely fed up with the modem (a Zoom X6 5590 ADSL Router, by the way) and I was ready to yank it off the network and put the old modem back on. Not only was that a decision made out of frustration and anger, but it would have completely defeated the purpose of buying the modem in the first place, so I decided to leave it on. Even if port forwarding didn't work, I should at least check to see if it ever falls offline. Best Buy said I could take it back if it didn't work, so no big deal.

Lucky for everyone involved, a bit of sleep is what I needed, because I learned what was going wrong with my port forwarding... I wasn't turning them on. Yep. That was it. At least 8 hours of work because I didn't see the Enable check box. However, I did explore every inch of the thing and read every word of the very primitive user guide. So what went wrong? I'll show you:

See that check box on the left? Yeah, the entire time, I thought that was for mass manipulation... Like, if you have 50 things in your list and you want to delete them all, check the boxes and push delete and confirm once. Well, that's not what it's for. For some reason, I completely neglected to read "Enable". I saw everything else but that... No idea why.

One thing I'm still having trouble with? Bridging. It's a technical term that allows the modem to become absolutely transparent to everyone involved, making it look like a computer behind the modem is the one directly connected to the internet (when, in reality, the computer still passes things through the modem). In a sense, it becomes an invisible translator. Well, that's how the old modem worked. You'd plug the modem in, it would connect to the internet and sit there idle until you plugged in a computer, and then the modem would say "okay, here's all the stuff for you to pretend you're the modem" and the computer itself would handle the connections and sharing. That would be my Linux router! Well... This new modem has wireless, and in bridge mode, the wireless doesn't get online. It only acts as a sort of LAN access point that can't get routed to the internet because the modem is supposed to be invisible in Bridge mode. (Or at least I haven't figured out how to make it work, yet, and the documentation is incredibly lacking.) That, and Bridge mode worked once, right out of the box, but now I can't get it to work, even after resetting it to the factory defaults. So A) wireless doesn't work, and B) bridging doesn't work... However...

When it's acting as a router, it... Well. Acts as a router. I got myself a crossover cable and linked my NetGear switch to the modem, so now it's very literally an 18-port router. Everything works just perfectly dandy. I have Static DHCP configured, so every computer gets the same IP, and when I take the computer somewhere else, it'll get a new IP automatically until I come home. Awesome stuff. Wireless works, and the Wii interfaces with it very nicely, but the DSes don't for some reason. They don't acquire an IP address, even though I've set up DHCP for them the very same way. So A) wireless works and B) the modem is the router. However...

I don't know if I want the modem to be a router. I mean, it seems stable enough. I haven't had any trouble, and theoretically, it shouldn't have any trouble. I can't find anything about router problems with a Zoom modem, so I guess that's good? I'm worried it's not strong enough to handle a mass of connections and I'll wind up with the problems I had with the old modem, but... On the other hand, thousands of people (and everyone I know, except TW) uses a little box router like this and they rarely have any trouble like I've had... So I'm a little torn. Wireless and box router? Or no wireless and Linux router? I'm opting for wireless at the moment... If I get the DSes working, then that'll seal the deal.

I'll be putting it through its paces tonight with Karazhan, and hopefully I'll find some random stuff to download via Bittorrent to see how it handles that. With luck, it'll be everything I've ever wanted in a box router. Let me be honest... I found a Linux router very cumbersome. Every time you wanted to make a change, you had to write a configuration file so you didn't have to memorize the IPTables commands, and then you'd have to launch the file to make the changes... All this through SSH that you log in with a username and password. On the one hand? Very strong. On the other? Very lengthy. Now? I just dial into 10.0.0.2, maneuver to Advanced Setup> Virtual Server/DMZ, and add an IP and a port and done. Oh, and did I mention wireless works when the modem's a router? Wireless is nice when it comes in the package.

I'm very surprised as to how simple it was to interface with the AT&T/SBC/Yahoo! DSL network... Basically? Plug in the modem, navigate to Basic Setup, hit "autoconfigure", wait 30 seconds, and boom! You're on the network... All that's left is to sign in and voila! Online magic. Plus, it sports WPA2 for wireless encryption (if you go for that), PVCs, custom routing tables, advanced rules-based firewall, QoS, UPnP and MAC filtering on the wired LAN, even. Pretty neat stuff. (Plus the Bridge that kinda-sorta does/doesn't work.) I don't like QoS, as I've said before, so that's off, as well as most of the other stuff, but it's neat that they're there in case I need them. Plus, there's a telnet command line, but I haven't figured out how to use it, since it's nothing close to anything I've ever used. Plus, the commands it says are available toss up "invalid command" errors, so... No luck there.

I got a Zoom X6 ADSL Router as a replacement...

I've been working on this thing for 4 hours straight and it doesn't work...

No matter what I do, the firewall doesn't come down to allow ANY incoming connections...

This thing is going back next time someone goes to town...

In another show of stupidity, a public school in Oregon has declared that religious symbols (specifically those of the Catholic church) are "gang symbols". Amazing... A couple of school guys were wearing crucifixes and rosaries around their necks. A crucifix, you know... The fancy name for the cross. Rosaries are a kind of... Prayer related thing. I don't know, one of the few things that Protestants like myself share with Catholics is the cross, so that's what I'm empathizing with. The principle declared the items are gang symbols and ordered their immediate removal. The police say that there have been reports of these things being used as identification, but this is the first time they've seen it in the area.

Yeah... Right. The principal says he reserve the right to ban gang symbols to promote student safety. Uhm. Okay. Whatever you say, sir. Sounds like a typical liberal approach to things, myself. Deal with the symptoms, but completely ignore the underlying causes. Government in debt? Let's increase taxes so we have more money to spend (and subsequently waste even more money). No reports of terrorism in the United States? Let's pull out of Iraq as an act of good faith (and subsequently give the terrorists time to organize themselves). Gangs threatening the safety of children in your school? Let's get rid of gang symbolism and shove it all under the rug (and subsequently not actually do anything about the gangs themselves, and let them continue to operate). Yeah. That's real smart. When you take this thought process and apply it to banning religious symbols in an effort to pop a few pain-killers and hope the problem goes away on its own? Of course you're going to get noticed.

Why do people like Obama? I ask people and they just say he's "good" or some vague response that doesn't mean anything... Sorta like good ol' Mister Saxon in Doctor Who? He's just there, running for Prime Minister, and he's brainwashed everyone so when they ask someone why they're voting for him or what he stands for, they just go into a trance, tapping the drum beat, and go "I don't know... But he's good!" But really, do they not know? Why do they like Obama? He's a lying snake! He's got to be today's Al Gore (except Al Gore is still alive, only lying through his teeth about global warming about things that keep getting overturned). He says stuff that are just completely not true! And, like Gore, they're not even important things. But the fact that he lies about the little things shows that he's either not at all in touch with reality, or he's purposely playing numbers and facts because he knows its what people want to hear and that they're just going to take him at his word and not look into it like VOTING CITIZENS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO. Is anyone on the left doing any fact checking on this guy? It's unbelievable. Just today, two articles hit NewsBusters about his lies (it might be a conservative site, but these articles have plenty of sources, so you can't shut your eyes without being willingly ignorant).

First he says in a radio ad that "Some CEOs make more in 10 minutes than some American workers make in a year." [newsbusters.org] What does that make you think? You know he's all for "the worker" and all, and that he wants to stick it to the man and make things more balanced and fair for everyone. (Hello, communism.) What do you walk away with when you hear that phrase?

NewsBusters went and calculated some things. Full-time minimum wage turns out to be $12,000 a year, and after the math is done, if you get even just $12,000 every 10 minutes, you wind up with 187 MILLION dollars a year. How many people get this much money? Three. Three people in the entire United States. I think you would call that a minority? A very, very small minority? Like, not even enough to make mention of because the 99% of the CEOs don't make that much? Maybe not entirely a lie, but it's obviously twisted enough to make you think that the work place payroll is vastly unfair and needs a change, because the CEOs who sit around all day make a heck of a lot more money than anyone else. Wrong. They make more money, but not nearly as much as Obama claims.

The next is a claim that Obama says his home state is the only state that still requires Physical Education for schools [newsbusters.org]. Why he was even blathering about this subject, I really don't know or really even want to know. (Actually, I just checked, and it's to help plug his health care plan. Figures.) He says most schools have abandoned it because of lack of funding. (Oh, I smell a tax increase proposition. HELP THE CHILDREN! GIVE US MORE MONEY! Ahem.) Well, turns out that this is a lie, too, because at least 36 states require Phys Ed, and it climbs to 42 for high school. Read the article for the numbers.

These two lies are for stupid crap, too! They're not things that would make or break a presidential election. They're just statements, right? But if he thinks he can lie about simple stuff like this, what else is he lying about? This is Al Gore all over again, because these are such blatant lies that nobody's catching! When someone does catch them, they get lauded as dredging up unimportant negatives. No, we're not digging them up, they're right in front of your freakin' face and you're too engrossed with the latest saviour of the world to notice that he's taking advantage of your stupidity. You're an American! You have the right to vote for your leaders! Take a stand and show that you're not some stray puppy to be pulled around by a leash because your master promises you treats. The entire liberal population is buying into this stuff, and they either know or don't care (which makes them no better than the liar) or they don't know and aren't bothered to educate themselves on the candidates. The downfall of this government system of election isn't that the parties are pushing what they want on the people, it's that the people are letting the parties push what they want on the people, and they're too dumb to realize that they're being lied to.

And the coup de grace... Some islamic guy is praising Obama as being the "hope of the entire world" [msnbc.com] and that he's the only one who can "lift America from her fall". He compares Obama to the founder of Islam, Muhammad himself, and claims that "if you look at Barack Obama's audiences and look at the effect of his words, those people are being transformed." What in all heck?! Obama isn't your god! He's some dude running for president! Everyone's making him out to be something far more than a human running for president... They're touching on the supernatural, and I don't mean referencing religion in a government capacity, I mean they're referring to Obama with almost as much sanctity and awe as you would Jesus Christ! That is frightening... That's insanely creepy... It's beyond my vocabulary to describe how scary and sickening that is. In addition to all that, the liberal left always makes a HUGE deal out of racism, and yet they support this guy who's only going out of his way to make sure everyone knows Obama is black. WE DON'T CARE! The liberals are hypocrites who rail so much against racism, but make such a huge deal out of it that nobody can move past it! It's the liberals and the liberals alone who are propagating this racism madness, and they'll continue to do it as long as they see fit, while all the time pointing their fingers at the rest of YOU, claiming that YOU, America as a whole, can't get past racism, when they are the ones who keep bringing it up... For political leverage.

I completely hate to say it, because I personally know people who would vote for Obama, but I have to question their judgments. Aren't they paying attention to all this? Obama is a liberal in the extreme... Nobody comes close. He consistently gets a 100% rating from people like Planned Parenthood and a 0% rating from people like National Rifle Association. He's an incredibly left liberal, he lets the media play on his race, he lies about stupid crap like Gore does, and more than once, he's been heralded as this nation's only saviour... He's the only one who knows that our souls need to be fixed, and now he's the equivalent of Muhammad, the founder of the Muslim religion? And you're voting for this guy?

So, English Composition... Gotta read up on how to write an evaluation paper. (Which, I might add, is going to be on the controversy of my field... Windows Vista!) So I was reading my little FAQ pocket book dealy, which gives direct examples of what and what not to do, and right there on section 10: Nonexistent Language. Okay, what's this? I read a little more:

Language that favors the male noun or pronoun or excludes females is sexist.

Wait, what? What's the title of this section again? Oh! NonSEXIST Language. That's right, there's a whole section on how not to use words like "person" instead of "man" and "people" instead of "mankind" because some people find it offensive. Excuse me, what? Come again? I'm supposed to active avoid using these words because someone might go on a tangent and assume I'm being sexist? Riiiight!

Let me tell you a little something about the real world. Whatever gender you are? That's what you automatically identify with. (Well, barring some very, very confused people.) You're a guy? You're going to write examples with "his" instead of "theirs". You're a gal? You're going to write examples with "hers" instead of "theirs". It just comes naturally. Is it improper? Well, yes, technically, it is a little improper to assign someone a specific gender when you're talking about the "idea" of a person. In my mind, I always used "they" or "their" because I was just logically aware that if anyone could fit the profile, and gender wouldn't matter. It just makes you sound a little more aware of ideas. But to assume that such a thing is actively sexist and you should avoid it because it's offensive? Preposterous.

I also find it very intriguing that every single one of their examples was for men. Different variations of referring to someone as a male. Let me show you something from last semester... A little book called Network+ Guide to Networks, Fourth Edition, by... Wait for it. Tamara Dean. Clearly someone of the female variety, wouldn't you agree? What is it completely full of? Phrases that resemble "when the network administrator troubleshoots the router, she..." and "a user is having trouble signing in to the computer, even though she..." Get the idea? If you're going to make a huge deal out of language being sexist, the least you can do is be fair about it. As if men are only writers who do this? Give me a break.

Actually, I'm just going to ignore this entire section. It's ludicrous.

It's pretty awesome when you think a series is over for the season, but then you find out that there's actually one episode left, and it's ready for download to watch. Primeval rocks.

I reinstalled the router with Ubuntu Server 7.10, right? Everything's been working well enough. Torrents are still slow, but I was able to run Bittorrent on the router's command line, and it was slow, too, so I think it was just the torrent itself this time. I disabled QoS on the Windows systems and that helped a bit. I would rather that the programs I run have complete, unfiltered access to the network, and if I don't want two programs fighting for power, I'll stop one.

Well, everything was fun... Until about an hour ago, when my brother signed on to World of Warcraft to raid Karazhan again! (I can't, because I'm supposed to be doing school.) Sure enough, the modem started to go on the fritz again, almost immediately. Five crashes in the space of 10 minutes, requiring a manual restart of the modem. Interestingly enough, the new software on the router works far better than the older Debian stuff I was using. If the modem goes down, all I have to do is restart it and reload the router's NIC interfaces and voila! Done. (Took some coaxing on Debian.) All in all, I like the router the way it is, and I not longer think it's the router, which would go with my original instinct, because I found something new.

I was looking to see if maybe there was a new firmware update for the modem (there isn't, of course) and I did a weird search that I didn't normally do to look for firmware, and I found something very interesting on the first hit! "Hey, I recognize that address!" The World of Warcraft official forums. Very, very interesting, indeed. I check it out and the very first line?

We are currently investigating an issue where logging into or playing the game will disconnect your network from the internet.

Woah, what's this? It's a Blizzard issue?

This includes being disconnected from your other programs (instant messenger, Teamspeak/Ventrilo, streaming internet radio, etc) as well as everyone else on the network. This does NOT include just you being disconnected from the game by yourself while everything else works.

That's exactly the trouble I've been having! But wait! There's more:

Thank you all for posting your information. This will help our compatibility department narrow down the problem hardware and acquire it for testing. It looks like ~90% of you have either a Siemens, 2wire or older model Motorola modem or Netgear router.

Guess what modem I have? Oh, yes... Of course! The Siemens. First on the list.

After discussing this problem with our development team, they have told us that it looks like the most recent patch revealed a bug in the hardware that many you have. Our compatibility dept will attempt to narrow what the bug may be and contact the makers of these pieces of hardware so that they can get out a fix.

Blizzard, Blizzard, Blizzard... Don't bet on it. The modem's have had the same firmware version for over a year now. I'm not expecting a firmware update, and you shouldn't beat yourselves trying to get in contact with the manufacturers because they're not going to bother.

Thank you to those of you that took the time to post the information that was asked for in the original post. We have passed this information along to our Quality Assurance department for testing, but as of yet they have not been able to reproduce the problems you all are experiencing. We have made the development team aware of this fact, but as it stands now, I don't know if or when a solution on our end will be possible.

This is, no doubt, in response to people who think this is actually Blizzard's fault. It's not. No software should ever cause this to happen, and it's entirely the fault of the modem manufacturers for releasing fault firmware. Bugs happen, I know, but Blizzard shouldn't have to go out of their way to work around a bug that no other modems are having... That's just stupid.

So... I need to go to town and buy a new modem. A cheap one, just to see how things work. Then, if I get the money, I'll invest in a nice quality DSL modem... And some shielded telephone wiring and network cables. Just a few feet to connect the modem without interference. I also need to pick up a VGA F/F cable, so I can connect stuff to my TV... And set up computers without dragging out the a late 80s 12" viewable 640x480 CRT that flickers like you wouldn't believe.