Warning… This is a major anti-Apple post. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. :P
Okay, I made a point of not paying attention to the recent Apple developments, because, frankly, those Mac conventions give me a stomach ache, but, of course, since Digg is so biased for Apple, I get to read things even in articles that aren’t supposed to pertain to Apple… So after I’d heard some things, I decided to see if such things were true, and, lo! They were! Now, I want to point and laugh at them:
1. This new MacBook Air thing? No optical drive. Sure, you can buy an external one (for extra), but there’s not one built in anymore. Am I the only one who sees this as “reason not to buy #1″? I use my optical drive every single day! (Games, movies, etc!) I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the expenses to buy 3 million terabytes of hard drive space to store images of everything I own. (I guess if you can afford an Apple device, you could afford 3 million terabytes of storage, hoho.) I have literally hundreds of CDs and DVDs of stuff that I’ve burned and purchased and use quite frequently. Even DVD movies! This MacBook isn’t going to be able to play movies without plugging in an external drive? What… the… heck… Oh, I see. You can wirelessly access another drive from a computer with some special Apple software installed! (Yes, as if I want the brilliant programming engineering that brought me iTunes to be messing directly with my hardware? I don’t even have wireless because, frankly, it’s immensely slow and I constantly copy very large files from computer to computer and I’ve considering upgrading to gigabit Ethernet, just because I don’t like waiting half an hour to copy stuff!) So whenever you want to watch a movie on your latest Apple gizmo, just be sure your wireless is in range, and just be sure that the movie is in your desktop’s drive before you get all settled in for 2 hours.
2. On the subject of wireless, that’s the only thing you can use with a MacBook Air to access a network! Why? Because they completely got rid of the built in Ethernet port! Uhm… Actually, I think this is “reason not to buy #1″. Whenever I go to someone’s house, I usually have the option of picking between wireless or wired connectivity, and I always, always, always pick wired. Why? Because wireless is slow, usually not properly configured, and we sit there yelling the password letters to each other several times because something went wrong and we have to do it all over again. I always take a spare Ethernet cable with me because I can just plug and chug, so to speak. Securely, I might add. (It also lacks a Firewire port…) You can, however, buy ANOTHER device that converts a USB port to Ethernet. Yes… Let’s pay Apple more money to get something that everyone else still adds to their laptop.
3. Zero user-replaceable parts. That means you have to send it in to an Apple store to replace anything and everything that breaks. Monitor, keyboard, battery… hard drive… RAM… everything. Why? Because it’s sealed up tight, exactly like an iPod and everything’s fused together even if you got the thing open. Oh, but don’t worry. You can have the battery replaced for a very low price of $129
Actually, you don’t have to worry about any of these things, because the MacBook Air is environmentally friendly! Mercury free, circuit boards without nasty chemicals that can damage the poor Earth. Yes, Sir, this is the laptop for all you global warming advocates! (By the way, it’s going to be 9 degrees this weekend. That’s awfully cold, you know.)
And let’s not forget that Apple claimed this was the thinnest notebook in the world! Even though, uhm… They lied, and it’s not: Thinnest Notebook Crown Belongs to Sharp But, hey. Let’s just completely overlook the fact that Steve Jobs lies, because this is Apple! And Apple made something cool again! Even though there are thinner laptops out there. Poor Apple. There goes another selling point.
Can you imagine what would happen if Microsoft made anything like this? Can you imagine the uproar that would occur if you had to send in your laptop to Microsoft simply to replace a battery? To have it’s RAM upgraded? To add a larger hard drive? Can you imagine the uproar if Microsoft was forcing you to buy adapters for things that should be built in anyway?
And don’t take my word for it, here are all the references. Everyone likes to tell me how awesome Wikipedia is, and everyone enjoys asking me where I got all my information, so here you go! A single link to appease both parties! Now that I have references AND Wikipedia, I must be right. There’ll be someone who comes along and will feel it’s their duty to tell me that if I don’t like Apple, I don’t have to buy from them, and that such a thing is the wonder of the modern market! That I can choose what I want to buy! Yes, well, let me save you the trouble and say: You’re completely right, and I’m not going to buy one of these Airs. Ever.