Or, spelled out in its entirety? Stupid Daylight Savings Time.

Mark your calendars, folks, for the United States government has decided to change DST from the first Sunday in April to the second Monday in March! Why? Nobody knows for sure. There’s some talk about how it helps save energy, to which I let out a great laugh. Come on, seriously? To save energy? How do you figure that?

In March, for my area, sun set is at 6:39. That’s fine and dandy. Now let’s say you get off work at 6:39 and you come home and turn on the lights because you can’t see. Well, you’re using electricity, right? Using power. Well, see, if we come along and change your clock and set it forward an hour, suddenly, you get off work at 6:39 and sun set is now at 7:39 and you have an extra hour at home before you have to turn on the lights! That’s good, right?

Okay, now let’s take a look at the OTHER side. Sun rise in March for my area is at 7:14! Let’s say you have to wake up at 7:14 to get ready for work. You don’t have to turn on any lights to see because the sun is already up, right? Well, see, here’s where we run into a little snag. To “save energy”, we set the clocks forward an hour so you turn the lights on an hour later when you come home from work! So what does that do? It makes the sun rise at 8:14 instead of 7:14. Are you still following me? So now when you wake up at 7:14 to get ready for work, the sun doesn’t rise for another hour and you have to turn on the lights now.

What this essentially does is transfer “lights on time” to the morning instead of at night! Are you saving power? No! You just have to turn the lights on in the morning instead of in the evening! Are you using the same amount of power? Think about this very carefully, because not even our federal government can figure this out.

The answer is: Yes. Even with Daylight Savings Time, you’re using the same amount of power as if you weren’t using it. Only this time, you have a heck of a lot of confusion going on because not everyone remembers DST comes on! It changes nothing else.

Stupid? Yes. Pointless? Yes. Confusing as all get out? Definitely.

So let’s make it even longer than it was before! Thank you, America!