On Theater Popcorn
Theater popcorn is biologically engineered to suck water from your body in an attempt to get you to buy more drinks. Unfortunately, the result of resisting the subliminal message to buy more drinks is a slow and painful death by dehydration, and the theater can just blame your sudden demise on your decision not to drink anything for the entire day so you could sit through the movie.
I don't think I'm going to eat that stuff anymore, even if it's offered to me, because I don't want to drink gallons and gallons of any liquid I can get my paws on. Ugh. Excuse me while I go drink directly from the kitchen sink.
October 24th, 2006 at 8:58 am
Have there been conclusive studies linking theatre deaths to dehydration? Have those studies further showed that the relationship is not spurious? Hmmmm....