One of the best moments in eBay is the excuse I was given by someone who didn't want to pay for the auction they won. Remember? The one who claimed their 2 year old kid bid on the item because they were learning how to use the mouse? (Sadly, I am not joking in the least bit.)

Well, I've got two more awesome moments to share with you.

It was a dark and stormy night. I was checking my email before going to bed, just to make sure nobody had anything that absolutely could not wait until the morning. Lo! Behold! Someone was asking where the heck their item was. Oh, like I don't see this everyday. Okay, let me check to see if you paid... la-de-da, oh? Hmm. I don't show signs of payment. My system of checking for payment relies on three to four different places to check for payment, so when I show nothing in my database, you probably didn't pay. But, being the nice customer representative I am, I assume the mistake lies with me, and I reply that "hello, I don't seem to show record of you paying for this item. if you did pay, and it's not showing up, could you tell me if it was paypal or a money order? it may have been lost in the mail."

The next day, I wake up... and check my email. Hey! Look! An email from that one guy! Finally, I can get this thing over with. What did they tell me? "Oh, I didn't send payment." That's it. No "sorry", no "oops", no "I'll send that right away". Just "oh", and nothing else. Wow, where you expecting me to ship the item without getting some moo-lah first? What a creep.

Ah, the next moment. It just happened today. Let it serve as a warning for all you young pups wanting to get out there and buy things. This guy was a noob. 6 positive feedbacks. No negatives. He's just new. He pays... well... more than he should have for a pack of old radios. The description very clearly stated that 1) the radios were dirty, 2) they were UNTESTED, 3) you were buying these AS IS. He wins the auction, he pays, we ship, he gets them... he tests them... uh-oh, I guess they didn't work, because the next message from him was: "Hey! These were dirty! These don't work! I'm not buying from you anymore!"

So I respond with: "The auction was clearly stated as untested, as is. It also stated that they were in storage and required cleaning. Feel free to buy somewhere else!" What else could I do? Honestly, with the sheer depressing amount of total morons on eBay, I'm not sorry at all to see someone "take their business elsewhere". I like to laugh at them. So anyway, after that, he replied with: "These weren't worth the price I paid. I'm not buying from you anymore."

Ohhh, I see. So, you, for some reason, paid as much as you did because.......why? It's somehow my fault you spent this colossal amount of $$$ on an item being sold AS IS? Hahahahaha!! Money in my pocket, and a lesson learned to not spend that much on junk that's UNTESTED and AS IS. I didn't do anything wrong, you know. I just assumed you thought they were worth that much. It's not like I was actively cheating you or anything.

So... moral of these stories: Always pay for auctions you win, and make sure you've paid before you ask where the item is. Also, always be sure to read the item description before pouring mega bucks into something that may turn out to be something you didn't expect. More often than not, descriptions are NOT worded to take advantage of you, and, you know... they actually provide information WORTH READING!