Alright, with my retreat from NaNoWriMo 2009, I've come to the point where I really, really, REALLY need to have a storyboarding program. Something like Scrivener (but for Windows) or something like Liquid Story Binder (only less complicated) or something like yWriter (only more simple). I guess they're called storyboarding programs.

I need something that lets me easily maintain things like character pages and plot notes and timelines so I'm not breaking continuity and canon. I don't want to be like every other science fiction/fantasy story out there, 'kay?! I used to have a personal wiki for this stuff, but that's the definition of convoluted and impossible to maintain.

I need something that I can organize all novel-related ideas in! I know there's a market for this kind of stuff now, but it seems to be so vast and each program offers similar features incorporated hugely different from each other and I'm not sure which one to pick or even if I've seen all there is to choose from.

I don't know what I want, but I need SOMETHING. Something so I don't have to collect binders or scattered Word documents or maintain a wiki or anything crazy and impossible to keep track of like that. I'll keep searching, but if you happen to know of any that you enjoy, LET ME KNOW!

Calm down! Calm down! I know the news spells shock and horror for all of you! All none of you, that is, seeing as how I haven't been writing anything here regularly enough for people to check in. But still! In the interest of all interested parties, I will attempt to explain why I'm chalking up NaNoWriMo 2009 as a fail on my part.

What is NaNoWriMo for? It depends on who you ask, but generally speaking, it's to set aside time for writing 1,667 words every day for 30 days for a total of 50,000 words by the end of the month. Write fast, write hard, don't worry about errors and plot inconsistencies. JUST WRITE. That, to me, screams of brain dump. You have a story floating around in your mind and you're not sure what you want to do with it, and NaNoWriMo gives you a fun month of pep talks and forums and word counts to speed you along the path of just puking words all over your paper until something emerges that is close to a storyline. (Amateurs think this method is a joke, but brain dumping is a vital step to building a coherent story!)

Well, to be perfectly honest, I think the story I've been writing for the past 3 NaNoWriMos has finally emerged from the brain dump phase. This year, nothing changed. I like what I'd written previously and I was just rehashing it with different words that meant the same thing. There were no vast changes and no glaring plot holes and I was getting bored writing what I already knew. I know they say that if you get discouraged or stuck, you should intentionally skip ahead in the storyline and fill in the gaps later, but that wouldn't have worked this time.

I've got enough of a story arc now that I need to worry about collecting my ideas, not pouring out more of them. I've got to start worrying about making sure my characters have personality and consistency and that they're all interacting properly and in the correct order. Not only that, but I need to actually start reading some work by authors I'd like to influence what I write.

This year, I noticed that I focus an extreme amount of writing on strictly dialogue as a way of introducing information to the reader, and that's bad. There's no glimpse into the inner workings of a character and there's no sense of discovery for the reader, and I need to work on that very badly. I kind of accept that my dialogue method is my style, but it's not a style I want. Seriously, I had pages of size 10 Times New Romans of nothing but two people talking in order to build what the world looks like. I don't think that's good.

But there's my reason for my late quitting of NaNoWriMo 2009 at only 25,000ish words. In the mix are a few other reasons like school wanting me to write 3 papers by next Wednesday. I finally decided that me resting while I'm a bit under the weather this week is more important than cramming 10,000 word days AND 3 papers this weekend. Not only school, but I don't think I liked the whole "you get a special prize for winning NaNoWriMo" thing when they announced they'd be giving out 50% off codes for Scrivener. It's a nice thought for spurring people onward, but what's stopping people from faking 50,000 words, anyway? I think giving away prizes like that are kind of shifting the focus away from "writing for writing's sake" and I didn't like that. Don't get me wrong, I'd like to have Scrivener if I had a Mac, but the fact that I'm feeling sad for not finishing so I could get the prize makes me remember a little bit of why I stopped.

But my primary reason is: ENOUGH BRAINSTORMING THIS PUPPY! It's time for some serious work.

I love Glenn Beck. There's no other way to put it. His observations are spot on, his humor is flawless, and anyone hated that much by our liberal friends is just generally well accepted in my book. Well, in case you haven't heard, he recently released a book called Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government. But the book itself isn't what I want to talk about, although I would recommend getting it. Why? Duh. It's Glenn Beck.

Anyway, apparently, the book has its very own theme song:

So short, so sweet. So catchy, and the visuals are the definition of perfection.

So like I did with Obama National Anthem, I decided to make it into an MP3!

Glenn Beck - Arguing with Idiots Theme Song (20 seconds, 1MB MP3)

Go get Adobe Flash Player!

Arguing with idiots (idiots!)
Smart debate with dimwits (dimwits!)
Truth for those who care to look,
and another way to sell our book!

Only this time, I decided to go a step further: RINGTONES! They're exactly the same, except I cut out a bit of the extra fade-in and fade-out, because they aren't going to show up on a phone very well. In fact, you may decide to listen to that one instead, but I would call the 20 second one the unofficial "official" audio, since that's in the video.

This is a regular MP3 for normal phones:
Glenn Beck - Arguing with Idiots Theme Song Ringtone (15 seconds, 1MB MP3)

This is a special M4R for the iPhone and it's stupid ringtone format:
Glenn Beck - Arguing with Idiots Theme Song Ringtone (15 seconds, 1MB M4R)

Enjoy! I know I will.

This just in, everyone: The President, Lord Messiah Barack Hussein Obama, peace be upon him(1), has declared that we have a national emergency on our hands! Grab your guns, because the Russians Chinese enemies are invading! Head to the bomb shelters, because the nukes are incoming! Board up your houses, because the next Katrina is on its way!

Oh. Hold on a second... Okay, this just in: The national emergency is because of H1N1? Oh man, it must really be serious, right? It's the next Black Plague! Entire cities are succumbing to the microbes ravaging the planet! The end is nigh! The government was right! It's truly a pandemic of epic proportions!

Oh. Hold on a second... Okay, this just in: According to the article that we ourselves just linked to, the CDC is still saying there's only been 1,000 deaths? Well... A thousand is still an awful lot! It really is serious, isn't it? And the poor children! 100 kids have fallen to this deadly disease.

Oh. Hold on a second... Okay, this just in: We have nothing specific just yet, but reports say that Americans who are simply being fat are causing over 100,000 deaths in a year. And what's this? Alcohol causes 85,000 deaths? 175,000 children drown each year?

In light of these numbers, I ask you, dear readers, where are the declarations of national emergency on the dangers of eating at McDonalds? Or chugging your favorite beer at the local bar? Or the dangers of children near water?

Oh. Hold on a second... Okay, this just in: I've just been informed that these numbers are from Wikipedia. Wait. One moment please. I need to discuss something with my fact checking crew.

(Why is this an issue? Isn't there a source for this? There is. People who buy into sensationalism like this are the kind of people who think Wikipedia is accurate without checking sources already! They shouldn't have any trouble believing this if they believe so much of the other stuff on that thing! Alright, fine. I understand. Don't let it happen again!)

Okay, we're back. I apologize for the delay, and I'm sorry to tell you readers that our establishment doesn't treat Wikipedia as an accurate source and there was a slight misunderstanding with our latest intern, who has been unceremoniously and immediately... Taken care of. As a result, my new fact checker has pointed me to a few more notable sites:

• We have a report from 2006 by our very own CDC that lists the top 15 causes of death in the United States.
• Since H1N1 has been declared a pandemic, we only thought it prudent to include WHO statistics on leading causes of death around the world in 2004.
• For all you proponents of legal marijuana, we are including an independent, but well-sourced chart from DrugWarFacts.org that also lists annual causes of death in the United States.
• And while we're at it, if you wish to conduct your own research into the leading causes of death, you may wish to use the Google query for leading causes of death!

So in the light of the things that are actually causing high death rates in this country and in light of just how incredibly insignificant the H1N1 numbers are in comparison with the leading causes of death, I again ask you,dear readers, why has The President, Lord Messiah Barack Hussein Obama, peace be upon him, decided to declare a state of national emergency because of this clearly insignificant threat?

To be honest, we've given up trying to understand his decisions.

(1)Due to The President, Lord Messiah Barack Hussein Obama's recent reception of the Nobel Peace Prize, we here are Rivenwolf.net will gladly honor the event by appending the phrase "peace be upon him" whenever we speak to him directly or when we mention him in our reports.

Since everyone else seems to be weighing in with their stereotypical anti-Microsoft drivel, I'm going to weigh in with a slightly more balance interpretation of events:

1. Microsoft installs browser add-ons when you install .NET framework.
2. People get angry because you can't disable it. (Actually, you can. I wonder where this rumor started?)
3. Apparently there was a security hole in the add-on. (That Microsoft has since patched.)
4. Mozilla decides to block the add-on, even after Microsoft patched it.
5. The kicker is, Firefox doesn't let you turn it back on if you want to. (I tried.)

Isn't not being able to turn it off why people were upset? But not being able to turn it on, that's not a problem? People get upset that Microsoft holds your hand and installs add-ons, but when Mozilla holds your hand and permanently disables add-ons that are deemed "dangerous to society", that's okay? Two groups doing the exact same thing... One is getting burned, and one is getting praised. Thus are the actions of the anti-Microsoft open-source movement. Rather like a liberal, wouldn't you say? They claim to want a standard of behavior, and yet they don't care to adhere to that standard of behavior themselves. (Oh snap! A political comment? From me? Shame, shame!)

The add-on has been patched. This much has been repeatedly announced. It's even on Windows Update now. What's your excuse for not installing the fix? Mozilla's argument is that people don't bother to upgrade, so they're going to block the add-on for everyone! Thank you, Mozilla, for treating everyone like idiots because a handful of people are too lazy or ignorant to actually check into the facts and/or use Windows Update on a regular basis.

I'm tired of Mozilla. I stopped using Thunderbird and now I'm not using Firefox anymore. In fact, Firefox is so stupidly slow and bloated that I've installed Opera on my Dell Mini for school use. So much faster and so much more proprietary! (And now I've even found a StumbleUpon toolbar for Opera!) Now I won't have to live with Mozilla's standard holier-than-thou attitude that open-source projects radiate all over the planet. Disgusting.

Microsoft alternatives that work? As if!

So now that I'm actually in computer classes that aren't freshman level, I've noticed a sharp increase in the anti-Microsoft atmosphere. Even the professors take time to make irrelevant jabs and jokes at Microsoft's expense. It's really, really distracting and annoying. One of these days I'm going to start making jokes and Linux and Apple's expense. I've already had a few opportunities that have presented themselves... Ironically because they were trying to make fun of the Windows market. One particular opportunity arose when they were talking about how Dell would use generic hardware, lock it down, and slap their brand name on it to sell at a profit, to which I immediately remarked: "Oh, you mean like Apple?" Nobody said anything, but such things from my mouth will be more common if they keep up the tirade.

Anyway... At one point in the class, the conversation turned to how horrible Microsoft Office was and how awesome OpenOffice is and how the ODF standard is awesome and how DOCX is just an evil money-making scheme. I mean, there was some interesting things mixed in between the rabid open source arguments, such as how governments were concerned that old documents might not be able to be opened in 50 or 100 years and how they needed a document format standard. So I decided, hey! If you would have just given the facts instead of taken the opportunity to make fun of a capitalist business that is supposed to make money, I would have considered using OpenOffice because of ODF. But, ya'know what? I tried it anyway.

Unfortunately, once I actually started using options in OpenOffice that I take for granted in Word 2007, I started running into some pretty interesting problems. Most notably the automatic bibliography features. A professor told me OpenOffice makes writing papers easy because you don't have to remember APA formatting. Great, I said! Let's try that! I have a paper due this week that needs APA formatting, so let's give it a shot. Load up a new document... Tools... Bibliography Database... Instant crash. In Linux. How awesome is that? Okay, maybe it's because I'm not using Ubuntu Stamp of Approval OpenOffice. Let's try Bibliography Database on Windows. Load up a new document... Tools... Bibliography Database... Instant crash. In Windows. How awesome is that?

Seriously? A modern feature with the prominence to be on a first-level menu crashes the entire application without any warning? I wonder what would happen in Microsoft Word did that. Which, I might add, it doesn't. I tried it just now. Guess which word processor I'm going to stick with? I'll give you three guesses and a hint: It's not OpenOffice. So much for the arguments that open source bugs get fixed before proprietary stuff. I try to look up solutions and I get bugs reported from 2007 and 2008 for version 2.0. Hello? This is 2009 and version 3.1 and the bug is still there? Excuse me while I laugh at your precious open source ideals.

The same goes for Ubuntu Netbook Remix. I put it on my Dell Mini because I was tired of Dell's version being old. All was well... That is, until I wanted to switch from the new-fangled UNR desktop interface that turns your entire desktop background into a task bar. I want to see my background image, thank you very much. So I switch! Simple, right? Something as basic as switching between Netbook interface and normal interface shouldn't have any problems, right? Hah! How could I be so naive? Not only was there a bug that prevented the window manager from running on start up, but the bug persisted even when I switched back to the stupid "new" desktop interface. Applications would load, but the window manager wouldn't technically be there, so I couldn't move, resize or even close the windows. They'd keep opening on top of each other and run in the background.

Yeah, I'm totally convinced open source is superior to Microsoft products, guys. Gee, I wonder what would happen if editing the Start Menu properties on Windows suddenly caused windows to freeze open, even on reboot, until you managed to limp along to find a patch you had to download from deep within a bug repository. It wasn't even in the automatic update, yet. For some reason, this massive bug managed to sneak through a severe lack of Ubuntu testing and I'm still not even sure it's up for automatic update. To be honest, I spent a day browsing bug reports so I could fix something as basic as changing desktops. I would never recommend Ubuntu to anyone who wants to use their computer easily.

And then there's Apple, of course. The iPhone, pride of the cell phone market, of which I own, relying solely on iTunes, the single most laughable chunk of programming I've ever had the honor of using. Right now, it's idling at a lovely 50MB of RAM. Doing absolutely nothing. When it wants an update, it vomits dialog boxes all over my desktop until I either update or hide the warnings. I finally just hid the stupid things. I would rather be entirely clueless as to updates than have boxes popping up in the middle of my work and games. Of course, I can't even use the Apple Update thing that have going... I have to install new versions of iTunes from full-install scratch. And I mean I have to uninstall the iTunes I have, too. Why? I don't know. It makes no sense, but whenever I use the update feature, my iPhone invariably ceases to sync. It'll toss up a cryptic "can't connect" error that not even Apple's knowledge base can pinpoint. Only after I uninstall and reinstall from a full 100MB installer file will it ever actually work.

So folks, there's a reason I use Microsoft Windows 7 and Microsoft Office 2007: They just work.

Owned.

Obama promised us change... I can't call that a lie. He and his ilk have stirred this country more than anyone could have hoped for. It's amazing how Washington still hasn't grasped the power of the Internet and modern circulation of information. Fox News may be the last bastion of hope for the mainstream media, but with the hundreds of thousands of people with the time on their hands to track these things and spread them around their personal sites and blogs, we can cut through bureaucratic crap faster than ever. The best thing? Liberals just ignore it. That's awesome. It really is! While they're busy ignoring everything and ripping the Constitution to shreds, the voters are waking up and wanting some accountability.

I might suggest you check out some of these blogs. You'll find that most of them don't just spout opinions. They actually have sources and facts behind them, if you're open-minded enough to stop by and actually engage the topics being discussed. Go on! You might just learn something beyond the scope of sitting in your house, feeling sorry for yourself, and wanting everyone to pay for your hospital visits.